Aku Hanya Ingin Menghilang - Bab 1

0. Awal

“Hai.”

The cave was humid, and the voice was so deep and terrible. I closed my eyes as I felt goosebumps rise from my spine when something brushed softly across my skin. My legs were numb because I’ve been sitting for a long time. Tidak, I couldn’t even feel my legs.

His voice broke through my consciousness just when it was about to fade.

“Your family must have hated you so much, seeing that they brought you here.”

Ketika saya tidak menjawab, I heard his low laughter close to my ear. And with a threatening growl, he stuck a sharp nail into my shoulder. I bit my lower lip and tried to suppress a groan.

"Apakah kamu idiot? Did you agree to come here without making a fuss? You should’ve ran away.”

“……”

“ah, Saya melihat.”

I opened my eyes and saw him walk slowly before me. From his leopard form, he transformed into a human, berlutut dengan satu lutut, and stared at me. Semuanya terjadi begitu cepat. His cold hands touched my chin. I frowned with the contact, but he raised it up, making me look at him. Despite the darkness of the cave, I could still easily tell that his face was beautiful.

“Matamu,” his lips moved slowly, membentuk busur, “You don’t have the will to live.”

He gazed at me in wonder for quite a while, then changed back into a leopard and moved behind me. He breathed in the scent of my neck as if it were something extremely fragrant, his hunger vividly conveyed to my ears.

“Apa yang akan kamu lakukan sekarang?” Saya bertanya dengan hati-hati.

I’ve already thought for more than a thousand times about how I would die. I always feared that if I die, my family would not love me anymore. Tapi sekarang, HA, I felt very indifferent. My voice didn’t even waver.

“Maafkan saya, anak, but I’m going to eat you because I’m very hungry.”

“…….”

“I’m going to tear your flesh and swallow it, then lick your bones.”

His voice was horribly sweet. I blinked a couple of times, my face still indifferent.

“Apakah begitu?”

There was nothing else to say other than that. He purred, as if pleased with my answer, and whispered again in my ear.

“Jangan khawatir, I’ll kill you at once so it won’t hurt. It’s a favor I always give to children who don’t cry.”

“……will this stop the drought?”

"Ah, tentu saja. I wasn’t interested in those kinds of things in the first place.”

Mendadak, my throat felt dry. He was licking my neck.

"Apakah kamu siap?”

"Iya."

Kwak.

My eyes closed as soon as I felt the indescribable pain from my neck. I felt nauseous. Kepalaku berputar. I tried opening my eyes, tapi aku tidak bisa. Something very hot flowed from my throat. It made me vomit. Sayang, until the very end, my eyes could not even shed a single tear.

“Make a wish, anak."

Those were the last words I heard in this life.

I had awful thoughts at that time. If I were given a second chance to live again, then I’ll throw you out first before you can do it to me.

—–

1. Pengorbanan

Sejak kecil, I’ve always been aware of one obvious fact – I was definitely different from the other children on the street.

“She’s the child coveted by the tower. Hanya kemarin, the head of the wizards came to see her again…”

Ketika saya masih muda, adults took my blood. They said that the mana flowing through my blood was astounding. Jelas, I was of a wizard lineage and would be raised as a magical genius. Paling sedikit, that’s what the elders always told me.

But that’s not what makes me different from the other kids.

[Mama! Mama!]

[ah, my cute son Hans. Did something fun happen today?]

A girl who envied that little boy observed them from the window.

Saya adalah seorang yatim piatu. That means I had no mother and father. Children like me were abandoned because we were unnecessary in the first place. The head of the orphanage never let us forget that fact.

“Stupid Reina! You threw up on the blanket again.”

Gadis malang. The angry headmistress and Reina were right across from me.